Why do we not know how to relax?
End of the first working day and you already feel so if worked seven days a week for three months? No it’s not that the New Year holidays were too short. The fact is that we must be able to rest. We will tell you how to learn. Yes we know that the holiday will not soon but you will have time to practice.
We are afraid that if even for a moment digress from the affairs and plans then collapse all it was created unreasonable efforts: career home family, and friendships. Relax and rest often hinders the desire to keep everything under control. And yet the constant anxiety says psychologist direction. This illusion of its own indispensability is not very successfully combined with perfectionism: we strive to do everything perfectly and when it does not work feel shame disappointment. As a result, the idea of vacation is so unpleasant experiences that just before the action does not reach. Rest stops being something significant. Such an attitude a consequence of low self esteem explains family therapist. These people abuse themselves they must constantly earn the love of others.
How to relax? If the inability to rest due to the perfectionism need to make the holiday part of their business plan. It is necessary to plan the relaxation times and enter them in the diary that it was difficult to miss. And yet studying the experience of successful people it is useful not only to celebrate the what they say about work and vocation but their words about the rest caring for themselves sources of inspiration.
Riding without rules
All life is subject to one law: the natural alternation of periods of tension and relaxation. Sleep and wakefulness weekdays and weekends winter and spring heart beat and pause before the next blow hibernation and mating season. When we ignore this law rest is perceived as something secondary unimportant optional Rina says Moses a Jungian psychologist. As shown disrespect to our own nature to its limitations the body . We mistakenly believe that we stand above the rules, and our resources against the laws of nature are infinite and inexhaustible. Idleness idleness are also important as well as efficiency energy diligence ability to be in good shape. Laziness is the guardian of our resources zooms us approaching exhaustion explains the systemic family therapist Marina. Failure to respect his can not and to their want leads to the fact what we perceive as an annoying holiday break between interesting and important things.
How to relax? It should feel different degrees of fatigue. For example you can think of such a scale, need a little break, a little tired, need a break, exhausted, completely de energized. When learn to understand their condition ignore the signals of fatigue will be more difficult. We can also focus on the advantages which give laziness and rest. Marina draws attention to a caveat: It is of laziness luxury and leisure and sometimes in a dream many come to mind effective and long awaited solutions new ideas.
Escape from yourself
Sometimes interfere rest our fears. For example fear of change or fear of being left alone with him. When a person downloads all your spare time job he had no time to think about how he lives, explains counselor Elena. He does not have time to notice that it does not meet to decide on fundamental changes. We day itself so that no strength left to think about the meaning or meaninglessness to experience and reflection. Just to get to bed and fall asleep. This view is supported and Marina Rest helps to distract from the daily routine and see for yourself or a partner. And to see something what to see are not ready or do not want. No wonder most family crises occur in the days following holidays vacations and long holidays. On vacation, we are left to themselves can we do something we want to says the analyst Eugene . And how many of us are aware of their desires and even more so they are able to follow the Work this external support the usual way to stabilize reality and to structure time. Without the usual congestion and bustle we like without hands or rather how without crutches. Growing feeling of inner emptiness uncertainty anxiety.
How to relax? For starters try to establish that in the emotion is behind the desire to cram into your day more than there can fit objectively. You can ask yourself: what would happen if I were to take a rest? When thinking about vacation what I feel? Why? If you begin to relax what thoughts I can not be avoided? When it is clear from what was turning away you can start slowly at a pace comfortable for you to get acquainted with this thought or experience. Gradually the mind will cease to perceive the leisure and then what can not be viewed as something unified interdependent.
We can not relax because we can not explain that this is necessary. We have been taught: to work and again to work. We are so afraid of being branded loafers and idlers that do not feel the difference between the desire to do nothing at all and the need for physical relaxation fatigue. We have been influenced by family and cultural attitudes like Who does not work neither shall he eat, You will become lazy you will be dragged to the wallet, a rolling stone gathers no moss, and and other equally beautiful folk aphorisms. In the pursuit of social approval are starting to work harder faster more productively. Women today’s society imposes a double burden: to earn social approval it must not only be successful on the job but also a great hostess a wonderful mother wife, says the counselor Queen Elizabeth. Time for rest and blissful idleness even sleep is perceived as stolen from family or career. Place the healthy and careful attitude to itself takes the guilt to their families for all that that supposedly something and not completed.
How to relax? In order to stop this race you might think a parental letter or any social setting we sell. Recall that we were told about the work and rest the parents or other significant adults. It is useful to formulate and write this message, it is desirable to clearly and concisely in one or two sentences. Then take a look at this phrase is critical: that sounds illogical? What date? What escaped the attention of ancestors? What is important, they did not notice? From what thoughts this setup helps to escape? It is important to find a family message and robust grain: it helped the family survive? What is its positive impact on our destiny character? For that you can thank this idea as it made us stronger? In view of the answers to these questions will not be difficult to formulate a new installation taking into account and criticism and positive moments.